


Personnel Holodiary

by Tasharene



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Old Republic
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-02-05
Updated: 2012-02-05
Packaged: 2017-10-30 15:37:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/333308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tasharene/pseuds/Tasharene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The life aboard the Sith Warrior's ship, as seen by the faithful robot 2V-R8.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Personnel Holodiary

**Author's Note:**

> Written purely for shits and giggles, it will be expanded as I progress through the Sith Warrior storyline.

**Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358076 or 000001 under the new management.**  
  
It seems that I have a new master as of now. He will be here any minute. I am quite sure I have everything in order. Cleaned the floors, even in the engine room. Changed the sheets for all the bunks, put a fresh coat of paint in the master's private quarters, sorted the containers in the cargo, and dusted all the control panels on the bridge. Those tiny little buttons there are always such a challenge to keep appropriately spotless! Anyway, the ship is ready. Me, however... well, I can't say that I am thrilled, because a new master most probably means more stress for my circuits. Master Baras hardly ever used the ship. It did make me feel neglected from time to time, because - let's face it - why bother doing your work flawlessly when there is no one to appreciate it? Redundancy aside, it did make for an excellently peaceful post for a droid like myself. Naturally, I am the embodiment of perfection as far as performing my duties goes, but I already know that with full clarity, therefore I am not very ambitious. My emotion emulating module is not advanced enough to make me strive for constant improvements of my rank. Knowing my luck, though, the new master's emotions unit is probably much more sophisticated.  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358077 or 000002 under the new management.**  
  
This is outrageous! Me, a model of maintenance efficiency, turned into a mindless combat unit? This is unheard of! My chassis would never bear the weight of heavy armor plating! And he wants to hand me a blaster rifle and send me to the field? To fight? I am a pacifist! Ah, I swear, I nearly short-circuited there! What did I do to deserve such a master? I only wanted to give him a guided tour of his impeccably clean new vessel, and all I got was an insult. I won't even mention Force-pushing me across the entire ship, straight into cargo hold, because that was much less offensive than trying to make a war droid out of me.  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358078 or 000003 under the new management.**  
  
I blame it all on my new master's heritage. Master Baras was like a fellow droid to me. A human would call it family, I believe. My old Master's face was always hidden behind a mask, properly blank, even despite the needless ornaments, and not scary at all. Even his voice sounded pleasantly synthetic. Master Virdaar is... different. He towers above me like an impenetrable wall and he is what they call a pure blood, with red skin, facial protrusions and all those ridges on his forehead that I've read on the holonet about. He also has yellow eyes that glow slightly. That by itself would not be such a bad thing, droid vision sensors are often made to emit light as well, but his change color when he gets angry and that is not something I could consider a standard equipment. I do not like it one bit.  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358079 or 000004 under the new management.**  
  
It seems I will have to search the Galactic Encyclopedia for more information on the Sith race if I am to be able to properly please my new master. Nutrition requirements, favorite dishes, proper diet and supplements. Also, I somehow doubt Sith have their acupressure points in the same places as humans do. Unquestionably, more data is required. I am 2V-R8 and my renowned foot massages have always been the best, I have a reputation to keep.  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358080 or 000005 under the new management.**  
  
My master is out on an assignment, so I have a moment to let my circuits relax a little bit. True, he has been more or less ignoring me after that fiasco of introductions a few days ago, but I tremble every time he passes by me on the way to the bridge. I noticed that the slave the master had brought with him is also doing her best to get out of sight when he is around. I suppose she would do much better keeping her mouth properly shut rather than chirping constantly and having two words ready for every single one that the master says to her. Strangely, he does not seem to mind that. It makes me wonder, what it is that she has and I do not? Whenever I try to be properly welcoming and sociable, I get a glare from the master. Whenever she is being impertinent, she makes him smile crookedly. I humbly offer my perfectly relaxing and soothing massages while she only has her sarcastic remarks, and yet, master Virdaar never growls angrily at her. Where is the logic in all this? Maker knows I wouldn't want to have a flesh thing's processing unit in my head, not ever.  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358081 or 000006 under the new management.**  
  
Found some interesting data about Sith culinary preferences on the holonet. Of course, I made an offer to prepare a meal for the master as soon as he returned to the ship. I am positive I worded it appropriately to not offend or insult in any way. I even expressed my admiration for the master's deadly athletic physique. He only rolled his eyes and went straight to his quarters. How am I supposed to do my duties properly when I have no data? No objectives? No code of conduct to follow? How am I supposed to work at the peak of my efficiency? How can a state-of-the-art unit like me function according to its master's specifications when there are no such specifications provided? This constant danger of displeasure and deactivation is making me short-circuit on a daily basis...  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358082 or 000007 under the new management.**  
  
My master has given me a mission! He has just contacted me from the Imperial Fleet and will be sending the details and coordinates shortly. I am beside myself with joy, to the maximum capacity of my emotion emulating unit. I shall perform admirably. I shall provide a flawless performance. I shall-- Oh, here's the message with all the information I am going to need... He wants me to do what???  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358082 or 000007 under the new management.  
Addendum 1.**  
  
"There's an ornithologist on Ruusan willing to pay handsomely for rare yellow-spotted gibbid bird feathers. Go there, do some bird hunting and collect the reward for me. Coordinates in the attachment."  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358082 or 000007 under the new management.  
Addendum 2.**  
  
I have returned. As I am not a hunter - and a bird hunter, at that - the mission was obviously unsuccessful. I am currently attempting to come up with the best way to communicate this to the master, but I realize that regardless of how I formulate my report, I will be deactivated. Good bye, cruel world.  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358082 or 000007 under the new management.  
Addendum 3.**  
  
The master called me a worthless pile of junk and his Force choke might have irreversibly bent my chassis, but I was allowed to remain functioning in his service. I shall forever be grateful for that.  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358083 or 000008 under the new management.**  
  
 _ ~~I tremble before you, master.~~_  
No, this sounds like something taken straight from the holonet's xxx-channel.  
 _ ~~Hail to the Emperor!~~_  
Too obvious. And not focused on the master at all.  
 _I enjoy serving you, master!_  
Yes! It still needs some polishing, but I like the sound of it.  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358084 or 000009 under the new management.**  
  
Today the master brought a new crew member with him. Captain Malavai Quinn. He doesn't look like much when compared to my master, but he is a marvelous being that has a set of rules ready for absolutely everything. As soon as he had boarded, Captain Quinn wanted to review all the technical specifications of the ship, then he demanded a detailed tour of the vessel, including all the bays, holds and compartments, Maker bless him for that. It warms my circuits to see a human so focused on particulars. Next, the Captain proceeded to inquire about my duties, openly expressing his disapproval when I admitted I had not been given any detailed objectives. It took him just a mere moment of contemplation before he rattled off an extensive code of conduct to follow in just about any situation I could encounter on board. Apparently, he put it together especially for me, and that makes me feel truly elevated and uplifted!  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358084 or 000009 under the new management.  
Addendum 1.**  
  
The Twi'lek may no longer be a slave. The shock collar is gone from her neck.  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358085 or 000010 under the new management.**  
  
Captain Quinn caught me doing some work that was not included in the list of duties he put together for me... but it is not my fault that the paint on the walls in the master's quarters started to peel off! I had to scrape the worst of it and place a fresh coat before anyone noticed. Obviously, I failed. Captain Quinn was so displeased that he berated me in front of the master, pointing out all the other, more important duties I had neglected while dealing with the paint. He listed all the regulations I have violated, every single one of them, and there were many. I was so ashamed, I couldn't even face my master when he approached us. I was ready for deactivation, or another violent push with the Force at least. I would welcome any punishment, I deserved it, but... master Virdaar only patted the Capain's back and said: "Loosen up, Quinn. I do like my quarters properly lavished." I have recorded the master's words and I re-play them for myself whenever I can, to properly enjoy the master's appreciation of my work! Of course, the Captain immediately started sputtering something about cleaning the hyperdrive instead, to which the master sent him off to the bridge. And then... the master winked at me! And bumped fists with the Twi'lek, who was standing right next to him! And I have recorded all that, too! Oh, I am truly a lucky droid to have such a merciful master! From now on, I shall paint his quarters twice a week to keep him happy. No, I shall do it daily, so the color never has a chance to lose the vibrancy. My master deserves no less than perfection.

 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358086 or 000011 under the new management.**  
  
The master has been promoted to the Sith Lord. This fills me with so much pride!  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358086 or 000011 under the new management.  
Addendum 1.**  
  
It seems that the master picked up another stray, and now there is a Sith woman staying in the medbay. It seems to me she is overdoing the whole "Sith-are-evil-rrawrr" persona with her flashy display and constant mean interjections. Master does it so much better by just looking at me without a word.  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358087 or 000012 under the new management.**  
  
For a long time I wondered why the Sith woman chose to spend the majority of her time in the medbay. Now I know, and I wish that my in-programmed curiosity had not taken the better of me.  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358088 or 000013 under the new management.**  
  
She is doing it again! In every spaceport we stay at, she leaves the ship as soon as the master and the captain are away on a mission for my old master. She returns hours later, intoxicated to the point of being unable to speak more than a word or two coherently. She is always dragging a tall, muscular man with her, and she insists on calling him 'master', regardless of the man's protests. Thank the Maker, she pays no attention to me whenever this sad occurrence takes place, or she would no doubt shock me into oblivion with her Force lightnings. Just as she keeps shocking those unfortunate men while they are forced to copulate with her on the floor, right in front of me. Today I decided to leave my usual post and hide in the cargo room to busy myself with this holodiary entry. I do not have it on my duties list to assist in this kind of activity. Besides, my hearing sensors do not deal well with the screaming.  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358088 or 000013 under the new management.  
Addendum 1.**  
  
I understand that she is my master's apprentice and as such she enjoys some special privileges, but this? This is violating so many rules that Captain Quinn would probably explode if he knew about it all. And then he would explode again if he found out that every time she does that, the guests have to be put in the kolto tank for several hours before they can leave the ship on their own two legs. And while they are there, she keeps expressing her uttermost displeasure at their performance. In very vulgar words spoken loudly enough that half of the spaceport can hear her. It seems the males fail to fulfill her expectations, because they are not the master. I wish it made any sense to my processing unit.  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358088 or 000013 under the new management.  
Addendum 2.**  
  
I'm finally done cleaning the med bay. Apparently, she had decided to copulate with the male inside the kolto tank this time. Logically, it was not such a bad idea, I admit. I suppose it did solve the problem of the male passing out too soon due to excessive pain, but it makes me wonder whether she kept using the Force lightning while in there... in any case, the entire tank of kolto had to be flushed.  
  
 **Personnel holodiary.  
Unit: 2V-R8  
Entry no: 358088 or 000013 under the new management.  
Addendum 3.**  
  
I find myself wondering what the term "psychotic bitch" means when applied to a human female. Vette and the apprentice are having a violent argument right now and this is how the Twi'lek keeps addressing the woman. I am not programmed to pass any judgments on the flesh things, but I happen to side with the Twi'lek on this one. I fervently hope she decides to tell the master about all that mess so that I won't have to witness those horrors ever again.


End file.
